our morning dog walk we stopped on the cliff edge to watch the waves pounding the rocks below. We had noticed a ship on the horizon. Handing me the binoculars he asked me ,”could I still see it?” Yes the ship was turning away from us, but it was still there.
“I’ve no doubt he answered.”
That set me thinking can we live life without doubt?
How my life would change for the better if I had no self-doubt.Doubt that kills opportunities and possibilities that are ready to open out within me.
So I thought of the times self-doubt had killed.
Self doubt stopped me getting a job. Having passed the interview to work with the artist employed by the State of Victoria.To work with his team( a dream job for me still in art school) his team were commissioned to create murals or mosaics to be placed in
government buildings, covering walls external and internal. I doubted that I was worthy of that much money, that I was as good as the other artists I have met during the interview.
Years back during my Yoga teacher training Shanti the CEO OF THE Shanti Niketan Yoga School, had been asked for “Yogis” to appear in a television advertisement being created for the wool board. Young bodies dressed in wool,yoga teachers would show off their product in refined stretchable wool. I doubted if I was attractive enough for television,
if I performed my yoga postures with enough elegance and Grace. So I declined.
Not realising that often other people see us with greater clarity.
Doubting myself I did not finish my high school education. Not smart enough, couldn’t fit in with the curriculum, felt alienated and isolated more than I felt at home and achieving.
Doubt Affected my new relationship, when I saw that it was becoming serious I doubted if once more I could hold a relationship, was I was worthy of a loving relationship? Speaking on the phone to girlfriend Pam who suddenly commented “Yes I guess you think you’re not good enough and you doubt your ability to love. That your love is not great enough and that you are unworthy of such a good man.” My friend had vocalise my internal dialogue, had brought my fear to the surface and had noticed that my doubt would kill off this budding relationship.
Thinking on ideas on how to change /overcome self-doubt
I found this article in zenhabits and I have “pressed” it complete.
5 Great Ways to Conquer Self Doubt
This is a guest post by Alexandra Levit, career advice columnist for the Wall Street Journal
“Go back in time: The first step to overcoming self-doubt is to recognize that it’s there in the first place. Think about the circumstances that are leading you to feel insecure, and see if you notice any patterns. Are there particular situations (for example, dealing with a new boss, speaking in public) that prompt you to feel this way?
Defeat the doubtful thoughts: In one column, write a doubtful thought, and in the opposite column, write facts that dispute that doubtful thought.For instance, suppose you are afraid to invite a new colleague to lunch because you’re afraid you won’t have anything to talk about and she won’t like me. Statements that refute that thought might be: “We can spend at least an hour talking about the office culture here and what she did before this” and “She will like me because I’ve made a sincere overture to get to know her better.”
Keep an event journal: If you are a person who experiences a lot of self-doubt, then it’s time for a test. In the course of a single day, write down all of the things – simple and complex – that you accomplished without a hitch. These can be things like “ran productive staff meeting” or “had great talk with Brandon over coffee.” Then, write down the things that didn’t go so well. You will inevitably notice that the list of things that went well far outweighs the list of things that didn’t, and this will hopefully allow you to see your doubt in a different light.
Call on your cheerleaders: Often, our loved ones can see our lives much more objectively than we can. Being a natural introvert, I sometimes doubt my intern personal skills, and when someone doesn’t respond to me in the way I expect, I am occasionally get paranoid. It always helps to call one of my Best friends so she can assure me that I do in fact have a lot of wonderful relationships in my life..
Celebrate your successes: When a situation in which you doubted yourself turns out better than you expected, don’t just nod and smile and move immediately on to the
next thing. Take a moment and reward yourself for a positive outcome. Do something you enjoy like going to your favorite restaurant or eating a delectable dessert. ”
I found my life changed immensely once I started to meditate.
I would add a sixth way to conquer self-doubt and that is the daily habit of meditation.
Taking the time to cement positive emotions in your mind will hopefully make the doubt disappear more quickly next time.