Some things I struggle with. My school days I am glad are well behind me,I was never the Teacher’s pet. No my parents probably dreaded Parent’s teacher night. I was the child who tried to blend into the wallpaper.
Because everything we attempt/embrace / join means taking on and maintaining new skills. Hence the need to update my fire fighter volunteer skills form bush fire or basic to structure fires.
I have just completed a four day Portrait Painting class with Grace Paleg and woke each morning delighted and anxious in a positive way.Setting out full of wonder that I too, perhaps, could complete a likeness,a portrait, bringing a person to life on paper or canvas.
Rushing home, tired but delighted with my progress, to gulp down a snack and on two of those evenings I then joined my ‘Fella’ and friend to begin the firefighting Village course. Driving the three quarters of an hour back to school.
I wish I could say I was buzzing with positive energy and expectation. Sadly the anxiety was about how little I know and how I could let others down, especially in what could be a life threatening situation. This is working on the other side of the brain. Leaving the creative intuitive free fall of painting( yes there are rules involved) over to the anilitical, reading, writing, arithmetic side – no room for error.
And yet so many in the room were nourished and flourishing on the pathways of fire, how solids become gases etc.What type of fire needs what to extinguish it?
As I sat watching the terrifying videos e.g. What happens when a gas tank explodes? I was asking myself …Why am I here?
Answer: I’m part of a small community that does not have enough volunteers,
How can I ask someone else to do what I am unwilling to do?
I have formed strong friendships with the diverse people who do volunteer, these people have taught me so much, enriching my life, I know they also struggle with the responsibility we all take on. I guess that will have to be enough for me.
The wonderful quote below………. well I am still trying to translate the joy of painting into the Fire fighting aspect of my life.